You were just googled by insurance salesman. . By the way, is there anyone on board who knows how to fly a plane? Links below to more pages about all these. Bite into a bunch of our most popular jokes. Apparently three out of every four people make up 75 percent of the population. I hope you have enjoyed this collection of funny sayings.
~Everett McKinley Dirksen Read more Funny Retirement Quotes and Sayings When you retire, you switch bosses - from the one who hired you to the one who married you. It's the most fun you can have without whipped cream. Can please only one person per day. Cover Me - I'm Changing Lanes. You can catch more flies with honey than vinegar, assuming you want to catch flies. Share 'em with your old man. ~ Jonathan Clements Read more In the mood for a little more funny? One who cheated and stole from his friends and peed on their carpets.
Tomorrow not looking good either. Famous people saying funny stuff. ~Jane Wagner Life is not a static thing. Obviously I breed well in captivity. ~ Crimes and Misdemeanors There's no reason to become alarmed, and we hope you'll enjoy the rest of your flight. Read more Funny Fortune Cookie Sayings and Expressions You can always find happiness at work on Friday.
The Joke Party Game elevates your endorphins, amplifies your amusement, and improves your digestion. A closed mouth gathers no feet. In my line you don't have to. Short Funny Quotes: Funny Movie Quotes Gentlemen, you can't fight in here! Tall laughs in small packages. Read more Funny Pirate Sayings and Quotes Pirates do not cry, except in the case of the loss of a shipload of rum. Humorous Sayings: Funny Proverbs A fool and his money can throw one heck of a party.
~Unknown Retirement is like a long vacation in Las Vegas. Thompson Famous Sayings: Famous Funny People The human race has one really effective weapon, and that is laughter. Someday we'll look back on all this and plow into a parked car. ~ Carl Sandburg All my life, I always wanted to be somebody. No pirate shall discuss his feelings, unless his feelings include gutting a man from stem to stern and spilling his entrails.
A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory. You look about as happy as a tick on a fat dog. This is the War Room! Read more Funny Life Quotes and Sayings Life is like an onion; you peel off one layer at a time and sometimes you weep. If You Can Read This, I've Lost My Trailer. Funny Fortune Cookies So sorry, the fortune you are seeking is in a different cookie. Sometimes I wake up grumpy; other times I let her sleep.
In one hour, you will again be hungry. ~ Dave Letterman Funny Hillbilly Sayings and Expressions Life is simpler when you plow around the stumps. There's also a negative side. The goal is to enjoy it the fullest, but not so fully that you run out of money. In Switzerland, they had brotherly love, five hundred years of democracy and peace, and what did they produce? Read more Funny Movie Sayings and Quotes You might have seen a housefly, maybe even a superfly, but I bet you ain't never seen a donkey fly.
Today is the last day of your life, so far. My doctor says I can't have bullets enter my body at any time. ~Gene Perret He who laughs last at the boss's jokes probably isn't far from retirement. Pirate Law: Dousing oneself in beer is a perfectly acceptable replacement for a shower. Nothing annoys them so much.
And no liquid while laughing, unless you have a friend handy for a Heimlich. Your gang will think you're a genius for discovering it. I have come to realize that it bears a close resemblance to the first. You do not really understand something unless you can explain it to your grandmother. It's only available here at JokeQuote. The only people who do not change their minds are incompetents in asylums, and those in cemeteries.